Get Your Shit Together - Sarah Knight

Are you one of those people that feels put together, and stable on a regular basis? If you are, that must be nice. Wanna be friends, so some of that can rub off on me? 

I outwardly look like I have my life together, and I'm boss babe-ing the hell out of life because I always get shit done when it needs to get done. But let's be clear, meeting deadlines and getting certain things done often means other things get neglected because there's only 24 hours in a day, a person can only manage so much, and when there's a lot to do, sometimes the only thing that gets done is Netflix bingeing. Only me? Again...well done, you winner you! I genuinely mean that, and not in a sarcastic way, because that's my life goals right there.

So why did I pick this book? This was actually my first audible book a couple years ago, when I really really felt like it was applicable to my life. I mean…you can’t get any clearer than get your shit together. Back then, I had been saying it to myself so often that of course it felt like the Universe was trying to help me in whatever way it could. Yeah…you should know that I’m a strong believer in the Universe always trying to help you, and trying to make you the best you. Unfortunately, it’s easier to ignore it or be scared or just damn lazy. I’ve noticed so many times in the past that when I truly decide I want something for myself, something that will make me better and happier, the Universe sends me all sorts of help and assistance. This has come in the form of people, books, lectures, courses, new jobs, and just motivation to say yes, reminders that the Universe is trying to help me, so I just needed to get out of my own damn way. I remember that when I listened to this book, it was not life changing. In fact, it was pretty meh, and I think books resonate differently at different points in your life based on your situation at the time. So to give proper feedback on what I thought about the book, I listened to it again in 2021. Spoiler alert - equally as meh the second time around.

Sarah Knight, the author, has another book prior to this one called The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, which I haven't read, and it's not on my must read.

In this book, Knight starts off by comparing each level of 'how much shit' you need to get together to the chipmunks, Simon, Alvin and Theodore. I would compare myself to Simon. This means that I'm the brain and for the most part I have my shit together, that is, career is on point, stable group of friends and family, and so on. I love this part because it's so accurate. Just because you are doing a ton of shit all day everyday, does not mean you have your shit together. It means you're just a high functioning human to-do list probably on the verge of total mental and physical collapse. My to do list is always so long, and while this year my goal is to Just Be, it's hard when I still have to get so many things done. I appreciated the point that it was not about getting everything done. It was determining what truly needed to be done, and focusing on those things. I've already been trying to implement this more into my life, so even when there's still a long list of to do's, I can have guilt-free downtime until I'm ready to tackle the list again.

 A part of this process is Mental Discarding which includes:

1) Discarding - getting rid of and stop making space for things you do not enjoy. These include events, people, obligations, things, etc.

2) Organising - Figure out what you want to spend time on, and organise your resources (time, energy, money) to fulfill these agenda items. They should include the things you need but should also be filled with what you want to do. Consider the need vs want, and include lots of things that give you joy.

"Get your shit together." - It's not an admonition. It's a rallying cry.

"You do not need to be an innately competitive person in order to win at life." 

"In the game of life, you're competing exclusively against yourself, not other players, not even the computer. Just you..clearing a path towards victory, by getting your shit together, and getting out of your own damn way. Winning is getting what you want out of your time on planet earth. whatever that entails. It could be the house, job, car, partner, or hairstyle of your dream. Winning happens when you translate dreams into actions and your actions change your reality. It's living your best life, not denying anyone else theirs or being an insufferable prick. "

How to get your sh*t together:

She uses the always remember your Keys, Phone, Wallet to illustrate the steps.

1) Strategise. Set a goal and make a plan to meet that goal in small manageable chunks. A strategy is a plan of action designed to achieve a goal. Keys are your ability to strategise. They unlock the next step.

2) Focus. Set aside time to complete each chunk. Phone represents your ability to focus. Make those calls. Set those appointments.

3) Commit. Do what you need to do to check off your chunks. Wallet means putting your money where your mouth is.

The Power of Negative Thinking:

This says you should focus not on what you want to do, but what you don't want to do. It advocates to focusing on the negative, and getting mad at the negative to channel action to get to the positive. 

Now I believe what you focus on you attract, so I can't get behind the focusing on the negative. I prefer to keep the end goal in mind and be kind to myself as I get there because life is too short to for example, hate the year I take to lose that extra 10 lbs. 

What does winning at life mean to you?

To me, it has always meant being happy and at peace. It's not about having a certain position in my career, but it does mean constantly moving forward, and knowing that I'm improving and learning and growing, and yes that is sometimes measured by titles such as Senior or Manager or Financial Controller. It's not making a certain amount of money, but rather having sufficient that I don't have to worry about loans, credit card debt, being unable to afford unexpected emergencies, being able to travel, and yes having nice things. It's financial security, doing things I enjoy, adding positive value to the world, surrounded by good energy people who I love, and who love me back. 

In order to get your life together, you need to go through the process of identifying the issues, identifying why they're issues, and creating a plan to correct them. I've done this in great detail over the last year, so the below is a summary of how I'd use this plan in my life. It's always a nice reminder of what you need to do to get or stay on track. 

What's wrong with my life?

 - Financial security - To feel comfortable, I want a fully funded Emergency Fund, Sinking Funds for travel, house downpayment and so on.

 - Other Sources of Income at a standstill - Not getting my projects off the ground

 - Clutter

 - Not writing and publishing blog posts

 - Not at my ideal weight and fitness

 - Work Situation not ideal

- Mental health - anxiety has been off the charts this year

Why?

 - Financial security - Too much spending on unnecessary items - this has gotten much better in recent times but if I said the retail therapy urge when I am sad or stressed is gone, I'd be lying, as well as not enough income to cover these bases.

 - Other Income Sources - Overworking at day job, lack of support, but mainly fear or failure and the unknown.

 - Clutter - It's overwhelming to get rid of items when you have a lot, coupled with no desire/energy to clean.

 - Not consistently blogging - Life has been hard, and it's harder to write positive motivating posts when in this phase. However, mainly it's simply a lack of discipline, and again a fear of being judged for the more personal posts.

- Not at ideal weight/fitness  - Lack of discipline again. Inconsistent healthy diet and exercising. Not meal prepping, and so on.

- Work Situation - Overwhelmed, lack of real support, anxiety.

- Mental health - Work situation, Personal Situation, Global Pandemic.

Goal:

 - Financial security - I've already created my 2022 budget, so stick to it with constant check-ins,and reminders of why I'm doing it, as well as work on next point.

 - Other Income Sources - Create the plan with timelines, find relevant persons with the knowledge to be mentors, be consistent with weekly time devoted to making it happen.

 - Clutter - one area at a time; hire a cleaning person when Covid eases up.

 - Not consistently blogging - Stick to the schedule. Write daily. Publish weekly.

- Not at ideal weight - Meal Prep. Get a trainer from Jan/Feb 2022. Consistently go to the Savannah to do cardio.

- Work Situation - Figure out exactly what resources I need and make it happen. Mentally leave work at the office. Effective Jan 2nd, 2022.

- Mental Health - Shadow work, inner child healing, lots of books, podcasts, youtube videos, but mainly meditation and just breathing, and yes being kind to myself (that's for my therapist). 

The author tries to go through different areas of life, and give you generic points. It's said in a real way, so that was refreshing. I did laugh out loud at some of the jokes. The saying of shit 332 times did not offend me, but yeah eventually it got to be a bit much. I won't lie. While I do say shit on occasions, it's not my favourite word. I prefer crap, or crapballs, or crappity crap crap, etc. I guess I just like my profanity with some creativity, but more likely I don't like to think of poop, so shit in such large quantities doesn't appeal to me. 

This book was an easy listen. It did not have any complicated principles that required great attention beyond what I noted were my takeaway points. This is my view, and everyone is at a different point in life and therefore has different shit they need to get together. For me personally, I enjoyed the above exercise about what's wrong with my life and why because it forced me to think about what was making me unhappy, and by extension anxious, and unproductive. It's easy to think everything is wrong, and just sit in that feeling instead of thinking about the root cause. You can't get better until you figure out what's wrong. We always know what's wrong, but often we ignore and shove it down. Often in the past, I just didn't want to truly think about it because it would mean dealing with it, and I wasn't mentally ready for that, so I avoided and the problems lingered and compounded. 

Would I recommend?

Well..as an audiobook, it's just over four hours. So it's not a very big commitment, especially since you can listen while doing other things, and take the things that require thought and sit and deal with them when you have time.

All in all, will this be a book I grab again? No.

Do I regret reading..well, listening? No.

It's up to you if you want to read it or not. I don't think you'll regret it. Yes...I'm copping out of providing a definitive answer because while it was not helpful to me, it might be to you. Again...we're all at different levels of shit we need to deal with, so it's very subjective. 

I am a Type A, which means slowing down and not over-achieving is often hard for me. Note - this is not to meet any of society's goals. Just my own crazy ones. However, lately I've accepted that I get burned out. I get fed up, and when it gets too much, I just stop. Most often, not by choice, but by force as my mind and body shuts down. I know when I'm unhappy. It's easy for me to identify when this is happening. Not so easy to fix it, when I have responsibilities.

Disclaimer – I think this needs to be included on every one of these ‘self-help’ reviews. If you don’t believe in it going in, and if you are skeptical and really looking for the flaws, then this is simply not for you and won’t work. You need to want to better yourself. You need to be aware that you can always be a better version and have a great desire to become that better version.

Go with the flow..the flow that you want, or said you wanted, instead of fighting it even after deciding it’s what you want.

One of the things I feel I can implement is that of having several acts that if you just complete these in a day, you win the day.

"Happiness is a goal, in and of itself." - So make it a priority.

Light and love always darlings.

#fairytalekindagirl