What I Know for Sure - Oprah Winfrey
I have been listening to Oprah's Super Sunday Podcast since last year, and as we know the internet stalks your preferences, so it was no surprise when this book came up in my recommendations. Written and read by Ms. O herself was enough to persuade me to purchase this book, in the audible version. At just under 4 hours, it's on the shorter end as far as audio books go. Whether it's the podcast, an interview, a book review, an email, or a book by Ms. Winfrey, I've never regretted the time investment, because it's always left me feeling better. Spoiler: this book was no exception.
From the introduction where Oprah goes into how she started writing this book which meant going through her 14 years of articles, I was inspired. This was for no reason other than it reminded me of why I started a blog..to document my experiences and look back and reminisce and be able to see how far I've come, what has changed, and what core values have stayed the same. Re-reading my articles always takes me back to the time of writing, and the experience and the associated good memories.
You know those books where you have to dig to find those life quotes you want to remember. Well this entire book is quotable.
You will want to print and stick all the golden nuggets on the fridge for daily reminders. I just picked out a few of the things that truly gave me pause that I want to remember.
So the way I've done it is by including the direct quote and then some thoughts.
"Being aware of and creating four and five star experiences is what life should be about."
This doesn't mean trips around the world. It means the everyday things such as a night in with loved ones, or a good book. It really means ensuring most of your everyday life is filled with experiences that give you joy.
"Pleasure is energy reciprocated. What you put out is what you get back."
Call it karma. Call it coincidence. Call it something else. I believe in putting out good energy because what you put out does come back to you tenfold. I believe this so deeply that sometimes someone will ask me to do something small that might seem insignificant on the bad scale, and you'll often hear, nope..I can't deal with that bad karma. The way I look at it is that what I do might be an inconsequential act, but if what I'm getting back is that act x 10, then no thank you! I'm in no way saying I'm great and I don't do, say and think things that are less than laudable. However, I am aware, and try everyday to simply be better. The longer you practise it, it becomes easier and just a way of life. Vibrating on a good level just makes me feel much better..in the moment and in the long run.
"A god wink - where all of the things just line up."
There have been many moments in my life where I've truly wanted or needed something..deeply in my heart, and then it just happened. Looking back, the universe has always given me what I needed in life when I needed it. Also, I've had some pretty phenomenal, unexpected things happen that I wanted but never thought would occur. One such example is when I was on a trip to India in 2013 for the Champions League (cricket) and I was in the lobby waiting on our bus to take us to a game. We were leaving in a few minutes when all of a sudden my friend Gyasi came and said Sasha, it's Virat. I looked at him and went oh, very funny, and walked off. He insisted..no look! Looking around I noticed a crowd had gathered and it was in fact Virat Kohli, the cricketer I've been pretty obsessed with for a couple years. I literally froze, walked up to Daren (another cricketer who knows him who was on the trip with us) and just pointed like an idiot. Thank goodness he was also aware of my adoration and he asked, would you like to meet him? Still unable to speak, I just nodded with a stupid grin. What followed was...Hi Virat, this is my friend Sasha. I got a handshake and a picture, and a grin that lasted a really long time. Now what was so special about this? Well..he had no reason to be there. He literally was in and out of the hotel in ten minutes. It was during that ten minutes that I was in the right place, and so was Daren so the introduction and picture was possible. People might call this coincidence. I know without a doubt that it was the Universe conspiring to make something happen that was my heart's desire.
This is from a Paulo Coelho quote which I truly believe..."When you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
Thank you Universe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I really need to get this picture quality sorted…but the cheesy smile will remain forever. :)
"Because you will die. You must live now. You are the single biggest influence in your life."
I am an emotional person who might have my life together-ish. This does not mean that there are moments, days, weeks, sometimes even months where even though I am productive at one thing, I am in a slump and feel like crap overall. So I'm learning to incorporate more things that make me feel good. By incorporate I mean schedule because let's be real, I might dabble, but the only time I delve into these things is when I'm at a low point.
"We are each responsible for our own life. If you are holding anyone else accountable for your life, you are wasting your time."
This is something I know. It's easy to say and know that it is your life and you're in control, but do you really believe that? I'm honest enough to say that up to recent years, I've blamed others for making me unhappy, knowing fully well I am the only one who can make me happy. Knowing and doing will always be two different beasts.
"Make yourself whole."
"Balance lives in the present. We are often unhappy because of past events that we hold on to, which prolongs our agony. "
"What is this here to teach me?"
It's said that until you truly learn the lesson life is teaching you, experiences will continue to come your way that test you. I believe this, and now I look for the lessons in the tough situations, and consciously try to correct them, for my personal growth. And so that they can move on to test someone else who hasn't learnt yet.
"You alone make a whole person, and if you feel incomplete, you alone must fill all your empty shattered space..with love."
Only two complete persons coming together can create a meaningful, lasting relationship.
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
AMEN!
On love:
"It should bring you joy not some of the time, but most of the time. It should involve bringing all of who you are to the table, and walking away with even more."
Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows, but if it's not that most of the time with your partner, then what's the point? I'm pretty happy on my own, so someone needs to add to my life, and me to his.
Gratitude:
"If the only prayer you ever say in your life is thank you..it's enough." - Eckhart Tolle.
This one...I've got down. I'm constantly grateful for the amazing people and opportunities in my life, even in the midst of storms.
"While I was waiting on God, God was waiting on me."
You get what you need when you're ready.
"I try not to waste time because I don't want to waste myself. I'm working on not letting people with dark energy consume any of my minutes on this earth. Their darkness robs you of your own light..the light you need to be for yourself and others. What I know for sure is how you spend your time defines who you are, and I want to shine my light for good."
Never has something spoken to me more profoundly. As an empath who picks up and shoulders people's energies, I need to protect myself. That does not mean that I will not be there for a friend or stranger in need. However, I choose to not be around people, and give time and energy to those whose energy does not make me lighter. I no longer need an explanation from them or to myself. I simply remove myself from the situation. Life is indeed too short and it truly is difficult enough without making it even tougher on yourself.
"Cleaning house both literally and metaphorically is a great way to hit the refresh button. Say good riddance to decisions that don't support self-care, self-value and self-worth. Ask yourself if the people in your life give you energy and encourage your personal growth or block that growth with dysfunctional dynamics and outdated scripts. If they don't support you as a loving, open, free and spontaneous being...then goodbye. Put a stop to the stagnant patterns that no longer serve you. At work, reduce not only the clutter of inefficiency, but also strive to create a balanced workload, and make your work invigorating, inspiring, collaborative, and empowering to others. I want to be lean and clean for the future..dust off my wings. I know for sure doing so will make it easier to fly."
So when I'm listening to audiobooks, it's most often because I'm also doing something else..working, exercising, cleaning, etc. This is probably extremely counter-productive to so much of what this book points out, which is mindfulness, and being present, and so on. So..when I got to the end, I went right back to the beginning for a second listen. The thing about the stories and quotes and Oprah's voice itself is that it's inspirational and truly enjoyable, so a second listen is a way to get those points through on a deeper level, or even to hear the things I might have missed the first time around. Even if I'm not always fully present while listening to these books, by forcing myself to write these thoughts, it ensures that I think about what I've read, that I pause, and truly internalise the lessons. As noted before, I don't claim to be positive all the time. I am overall a positive person, but it doesn't always come without work. Sometimes it comes after periods of darkness, or feeling lost, and of fighting to get back to the light. I now beat myself up less when I do have these less than shiny moods because it just means I'm human and as long as I don't stay in the depths of despair, it's fine. I’ve realised that motivation is like anything else where if I want it to become a habit, I need to consistently schedule it into my days, and weeks. Listening to inspirational podcasts and audiobooks is one of the easy ways I've been doing this, as even on days when you're tired, it does not take any real energy to sit or lie down and just let some positive words wash over you.
One of the things I'm really taking forward with me from this book is how I feel about ageing. A story is shared where a woman like many of us, me included, no longer celebrates the age we turn at birthdays. The last couple years met me dreading my birthdays because it represented another number added to my age. Oprah simply notes, why are you not celebrating the fact that you are now here after accomplishing so much and overcoming so much obstacles. Why is celebrating another birthday not done in complete gratitude? That gave me pause, and I truly felt embarrassed because that's been me..being ashamed of being a certain age and not yet having achieved everything. Yet, even thinking it, I know it's silly because I have accomplished so much and grown so much as a person. I think it's simply a matter of loving and appreciating yourself more..celebrating instead of berating yourself for what you think is lacking. It's always so easy for me to be kind to someone, and if I'm honest, if someone was in my exact shoes, I would be able to truthfully tell them they are kicking ass, but for myself, I sometimes feel a bit inadequate. The good thing about this spiritual and life journey to me is that I've become increasingly honest with myself so that I can face my issues, and make a conscious and real effort to improve. For no-one but myself. When you get to that point, you're at a good point.
***Disclaimer: I don't consider these posts book reviews. To me, these are just the thoughts that the book evoked for me. The beauty of books is that you can read them at different points in your life, and what you take from them will always be different because your situation at that point of reading is different. I'm using these posts to reflect my thoughts at this stage in my life so that when I look back, I can see how I have grown. I am a firm believer that the universe sends you what you need when you need it, and that can often be as simple as a timely blog post. So, on that note, it is my hope that these shared thoughts reach you when you need it.
Light and love always!
Stay safe as we as one world battle this pandemic.
#fairytalekindagirl
